Another Version of Jack O'Neill's Backside
by Mentally-Unstable
Summary: It’s Halloween, and Jack’s a little creeped out…implied S/J. Drabble/One-shot.


**Fandom: **Stargate SG-1

**Title:** Another Version Of Jack O'Neill's Backside

**Rating:** PG

**Genre:** Humor/General

**Summary:** It's Halloween, and Jack's a little creeped out…implied S/J. Drabble/One-shot.

**Notes/Warnings:** I don't anything you recognize. I realize Sam is definitely OOC, but hey, that's why it's called fan fiction. This was written in response to the Halloween Drabble Challenge from CenasNakedInMyBedWithMe over on the Livejournal side of things. So, it's not technically a drabble, but whatever, it's easier to say…enjoy!

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There was a time when Jack O'Neill didn't believe in things like this, but after all the crap he'd been through and seen, there was really nothing that could surprise him anymore. He traveled to other planets for a living, after all. What more could happen that he'd simply disregard as fiction? There wasn't much, that was for sure.

But this took the cake, so to speak. And Jack didn't like having his cake taken.

"Carter--what the hell is _that_?"

Sam looked down at the item Jack had just rammed down onto her desk and stifled a laugh, "It looks like a...doll, sir."

"Does it look _familiar_?!"

Sam frowned and Jack let out a disgusted sigh, picking up the "doll" and holding it up next to his face. Sam's eyebrows shot up and she shrugged one shoulder, "Well, I guess I can see some resemblance, sir."

"Ya think? And look at this!" Jack turned the doll around, motioning to it's backside that appeared to have been singed, "My back has been killing me all damn day and then I find _this_ on my desk?!"

Carter shifted her weight from one foot to the other, crossing her arms over her chest, "You're not suggesting…"

"Oh yes, Carter. Yes I _am_! It's one of those…whatchamacallit's…a damn voodoo doll!" He tossed it down again and frowned deeply, even for him. "And you _know_ what today is."

Sam was biting the inside of her cheek, trying her damnedest not to laugh, "It's Halloween, Colonel."

"Yep!" Jack continued to rant, pacing in circles in front of her desk. He stopped momentarily and jabbed a finger in the air, "Ah! It was Daniel. Damn his sneaky ass! I _know_ it was him. It has to be. He's the only one who knows enough…stuff. He's probably made all kinds of dolls--of you, Teal'c…Hammond!" Jack growled loudly, "Oh! I'm gonna kill him! I'm gonna break his glasses in half, stick 'em where the sun don't shine and then I'm just gonna _shoot_ him!"

Sam was positive she could taste blood from biting down so hard and finally she couldn't take it anymore. Her mouth opened and she laughed louder and harder than Jack had ever seen her laugh before. Jack raised an eyebrow, "I'm glad you find this so damn amusing, Major!"

"No…no…sir…I just..!" She gasped between breathing and laughter and finally she was able to catch her breath long enough to speak, "I'm sorry , sir but…it was me."

Jack was still as a stone. "What?"

"I thought I'd play a little…prank on you, sir. Just for fun." Sam smiled innocently, "Trick or treat, you know?"

"So you cursed me?!"

"Well, it's not a _real_ voodoo doll. Just one with a definite likeness of you."

Jack's eyebrow twitched, "Huh." He shoved his hands in his pockets, pursing his lips as his eyes darted to the floor and he rocked gently back and forth, "Carter?"

"Sir?" Sam swallowed.

"Do you _like_ being reprimanded?"

"What? No!"

"Then leave."

Sam smirked, "All due respect, sir, this is _my_…"

"Carter."

"Leaving, sir." Still stifling a smile, Sam rushed out of her lab, leaving Jack alone to stare hatefully at the doll version of himself. He let out a sigh and shook his head. Sam was just being playful, trying to give a little Halloween spirit to the sometimes dreary atmosphere of the SGC. "Yeah yeah, just suck it up and apologize." He mumbled to himself and whirled around, only to have a jolt of pain shoot through his back. It felt almost…hot. He let out a yelp of pain, only to hear a burst of laughter coming from down the hall. "_Carter!_" He screeched, and ran as fast as his legs would carry him.


End file.
